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"Health Researchers Warn of Galactic Obesity

Astronomers discovered an enormous cloud of sugar floating near the center of the Milky Way. Well ... of course there is sugar in a Milky Way! A National Science Foundation statement reports, "The astronomers detected the eight-atom sugar molecule glycolaldehyde in a gas-and-dust cloud called Sagittarius B2. Such clouds, often light-years across, are the raw material from which stars and planets are formed. The astronomers detected the same molecule in a warmer part of that cloud in 2000, but the new detection shows that the sugar exists at an extremely low temperature -- only 8 degrees above absolute zero." So there are not only clouds of sugar floating in space, the sugar is in a state of frozen confection. If astronomers discover enormous deep-space clouds of artificial sweetener, this would be the first proof of alien life.

If you're wondering how there could be clouds of sugar light-years across, many carbon-based compounds form naturally in stellar nebulae. Clouds of amino acids, the building block of proteins, have been found in deep space. In the case of the interstellar sugar, "Glycoaldehyde is composed of two carbon atoms, two oxygen atoms and four hydrogen atoms. Glycolaldehyde can react with three-carbon sugar to produce a five-carbon sugar called ribose. Ribose molecules form the backbone structure of the molecules DNA and RNA." That huge amounts of the materials used by life are observed floating through space is considered a major clue about how life began ... and one of the reasons we are unlikely to be alone in the cosmos."

That's from this week's Tuesday Morning Quarterback, which more generally concerns itself with American Football and the NFL in particular, taking a wry look at some of the oddities of the past week.

More typically:
"According to the league's official Game Book, when the Dolphins took on the Steelers, the weather was "mostly cloudy." Okay, deep standing water on the field is not, technically, weather."
There were rumours on the Patriots list that the officials had to anchor the ball when spotting it for the next play...