so, I had this mad urge to visit Paris this summer, mainly to see an exhibition at a certain art gallery, but also to wander around a bit, see the sights, and chill in the ambience. I was prepared to do it alone, but The Husband said "I'll come, so long as we're not wandering around at random"

(listeners, I was prepared to wander around at random. you know- chill in the ambience?)

So a trip was arranged, flying with EasyJet, staying at a small 3 star hotel in Montmartre, a short walk from the foot of the funicular (because I prefer NOT to climb ALL the stairs to the top of the tallest hill in Paris) Arriving Monday 30 June and leaving Saturday 5 July.

We arrived when Paris was having a heat wave. Really hot - on the first day, when we arrived at the airport, it was 38 C. By the time we reached our hotel, travelling on the RER and Metro, my dress was drenched, my hair had developed "beachy waves" (which is something I have never experienced in 66 years of life) and my navy blue suede enclosed sandals had dyed my feet a fetching shade of navy blue.

Tuesday wasn't any cooler. Nor was Wednesday. Or Thursday. It was a little cooler on Friday - but not really. We woke up early, did our sightseeing in the morning and got back to the hotel just after lunchtime each day for an afternoon nap. Siestas were essential. Consequently the maid never got to make up our room at any point - but we did get her to give us fresh towels on a couple of occasions.

One of the tourist things we did was to go up the Montparnasse Tower. The view is spectacular, especially on a clear day like the day we went up (Friday 4th) - but it seriously needs a cafe up there. And some seats for us unfit people!

Our flight home was scheduled for 9:45 on Saturday, so we woke up early to grab breakfast - except we woke up to a series of emails from EasyJet. First one arrived about half past midnight to tell us our flight had been cancelled, due to strike action by the French air traffic controllers. Not to worry, though, EasyJet had already re-booked us for a flight on Sunday, from Paris to London (Luton), and a transfer from there to Edinburgh. Then at 3:45 am another email, rescheduling us from Sunday to Monday, and instead of London, we'd be flying to Liverpool, and a coach transfer from Liverpool to Edinburgh. They had booked us into an airport hotel for up to six nights. This was all confirmed and the the flight details in my phone app were updated to show CDG - LPL. We even had new boarding passes - but only in the app on my phone. (normally I check in and print off paper copies of boarding passes, Justin Case - and so DH has his own pass to show)

We arrived at the Ibis hotel CDG, at around 8am, but weren't able to check into our room until noon. The receptionist confirmed our reservation was for six nights, provisionally, but hopefully just for two. We did a lot of sitting around in the hotel foyer and the hotel coffee shop (which is a Starbucks franchise), then napped. The heatwave had broken and the heavens opened - rain was stoating off the pavements.

On Sunday, knowing that our flight wasn't until Monday morning, we took a Metro into the city and took a boat tour, and returned to the hotel in the mid afternoon. We were very alarmed when our hotel key card no longer worked. "But you are flying today, you are not staying here tonight." (remember that first email at just after midnight? someone in either EasyJet or Ibis must have been confused by that) We were able to get them to renew our reservation and let us back into our room - but we had to pay up front because EasyJet weren't going to be paying. (or so the hotel manager said)

Grrr, Arrgh! But ok. Except - that's when the real disaster struck. MY PASSPORT WAS MISSING!!! My passport was LOST!

I know I had it in my hand on Saturday morning while checking out of our original hotel. I took it out of the shiny pink vinyl folder that I normally carry it in, because every time I go through the Passport Control and Emigration in France, and then through Border Control and Immigration in the UK, I have to take it out, so I thought I would save time and just carry it in the zipped side pocket of my gilet. However it seems the zipped side pocket wasn't zipped and the passport must have fallen out. I didn't discover this until the Sunday afternoon. I spent ages searching everywhere in the hotel room, emptying out every bag in my luggage (just two bags but they were packed tightly), calling the previous hotel to check in case it had been handed in, then we approached the airline to see if they would accept the pdf scan of my passport that I had on my phone (the answer was no - the border control wouldn't accept it, so the airline can't).

So Sunday evening I went online, using my smart phone (Google Pixel 7) and found the UK Gov site for applying for an Emergency Travel Document. Fill it in, attach an ID photo, taken with your phone, pay a hefty fee, and submit. You are warned that this could take up to 2 working days - and the embassy is only open Mon-Fri 9:30 - 5:30.

I called the airline helpdesk and explained that we wouldn't be able to travel to Liverpool and that I was waiting for an ETD. The operator was very reassuring and said she would cancel the liverpool flight and said to call as soon as I had my ETD and they would try to get us home as soon as possible.

Sleep did not come easy Sunday night, so it is perhaps not surprising that I was awakened around 3am and saw a SMS from the GOVUK to tell me my application had been accepted, and inviting me to make an appointment to collect my Emergency Travel Document. I was straight onto that automated system and booked an appointment for 10:30.

I called the airline helpdesk (24 hour helpline) and told them the ETD was arranged and the woman found us a flight direct to Edinburgh on Tuesday. Late evening on Tuesday, but it was direct. Only two seats left on the flight. No transfers from Liverpool or Luton.

7am I was at hotel reception, explaining the problem and rebooking the room for an extra night, then getting a taxi booked to take us to the embassy. At that time of day the roads are very busy, and it's not a short journey, so the taxi picked us up at 8:30 and delivered us to the embassy door at around 10:10. The traffic was nose to tail, and moving at a walking pace. Still, most of the cars in Paris today are electric, so the air quality is much better than it used to be.

The Embassy staff are wonderful. Friendly, helpful, and kind. Emergency Travel Documents are a pretty shade of turquoise blue. They are the same dimensions as a normal passport, but very slim - very few pages. They are not suitable for the e-gates at arrivals, and the border control officer at the UK Border Control will examine them, stamp them and then take them off you. You don't get to hang on to it as a souvenir. (shame)

Tuesday was a long long day. We checked out of our room before noon, and spent several hours in the coffee spot. I can recommend the lunch options in a French Starbucks. Various stews and soups in glass containers, which you put in the microwave and eat hot. I had Blanquette de Volaille, which is a kind of chicken stew with rice, and it was one of the best things I've ever eaten. Around 4pm we made our way to the airport, went through Security to the Departures lounge and sat in the main departures lounge for several hours, drinking bad Starbucks coffee - the airport Starbucks was dreadful and did not compare to the hotel Starbucks! Eventually it was late enough that we could go through the border control into the non-Schengen departure area. (I've tried going through early before, when in Nice, but the emigration guys don't like it. two hours before your flight and no earlier) The flight was on time - right up to the point when it landed from its previous journey, when it was blocked from the gate by another airline, so we ended up leaving about half an hour late, and reached Edinburgh around midnight. I slept like the dead until 9:30 this morning!